FAT BOY SLIM, or: How I Stopped Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the PS3

Most people who know me may remember my initial skepticism regarding Sony's console this generation.  They marketed it as the crème de la crème, selling it at the seemingly ridiculous price of $599, and while Sony was indeed the market leader by a vast margin at the time, their corporate attitude stunk horribly of hubris.  I even made a documentary short on the subject, poking fun at Sony while trumpeting Nintendo's Wii as the undiscovered country of gaming.  Blu-ray was a waste of money, the outcome of its war with HD-DVD still in heavy dispute, and the majority of consumers would be satisfied with their upscaled DVDs for years to come as they only finally managed to get the full worth of even those discs as they upgraded to their 16:9 digital displays.

That was then; this is now.  And boy, have times changed.

The Wii and I had a short and somewhat bitter marriage, with the smooth promise of "Super Mario Galaxy" somewhat undermined by the annoying shake controls of "Twilight Princess," the imprecision of "Okami," and most of all by the blurry 480p graphics.  "Galaxy" was beautiful, no doubt, but it was painful to consider just how much more beautiful it would have been had it been rendered on tech that wasn't nearly a decade old.  When the most satisfying experience on your console is bowling, you have problems.  The Wii has migrated to other lands than mine.

My 360, my first investment in this generation, rests atop a small table, an improvised stand in the tiny bedroom, practically unused.  I fear to play it, having gotten the dreaded RROD once already, and am annoyed that because I was an early adopter, I am forced to live with using the outdated VGA cable for my video connection rather than the more simple and reliable HDMI that came with the later Elite and Zephyr boards.  Inserting a disc is equally a scary proposition as the drive has clearly begun to wear and the DVD upscaler leaves much to be desired.  The media player is, like its Windows counterpart, clunky and dysfunctional.  Our relationship is on the skids, hanging on by the threads of "Symphony of the Night," "Arkham Asylum," and "The Orange Box," as I have little desire to repurchase these titles again for the small influx of cash that disposing of the system would bring.

By contrast, the relationship with my new sleek black mistress is thriving, primarily due to a single factor:  the once-dreaded Blu-ray.  Having conquered HD-DVD, and with the ugly spectre of locking discs to specific players seemingly discarded (so far), it appears that my initial reluctance was somewhat misplaced.  Granted, at the time I had a television only capable of 720p, but now, having benefited from a defect-related refund, I have a 1080p set and am capable of receiving the full benefits of the format's resolution.  Indeed, while I had thought that quite a few of my upscaled DVDs looked excellent, Blu-rays -- at least on spectacle films stuffed with comprehension-defying detail -- are absolutely superb.  The Planet Earth series features perhaps the greatest picture I have ever seen; it is truly awe-inspiring, with vibrant colors and a three-dimensional POP! that is wholly lacking from the six-times reduced DVD image.  Honestly, I've still yet to be impressed by the "added functionality" that the Blu-ray profile and BD-Java brings to the bonus features, but I whole-heartedly confess that I was mistaken about the benefit in regards to image.  With the right material, it is a TREMENDOUS leap forward.

Additionally, with the new Slim models, the PS3 is little more expensive than a fully-featured stand-alone player with the added substantial benefit of game functionality.  I can still get my "God of War" fix, and I've found a surprising wealth in rediscovering "Final Fantasy VII."  Media streaming works splendidly through TVersity with a slick interface and a gorgeous visualization of the earth from orbit.  While I've not taken full advantage yet, it's nice that I don't have to pay a subscription fee to access multiplayer or to use my Netflix account over PSN.  Not to mention that the design of the system itself, from the curvy onyx surface to the liquid smooth XMB interface, oozes class.  The sound of a tuning orchestra gives me chills every time I start up the machine; it's pretentious, perhaps, but also far more pleasant to the ear than the annoying strobe sound effect on the 360 (along with the painful memories of the console freezing half the times it was started).

No one is more surprised than I at how far my opinions have changed.  I've no doubt that watching the gripes in my doc would seem quaint (for a whole host of reasons).  I regretted and rectified my purchase of a Wii, and I still regret receiving an Xbox 360; if I knew four years ago what I know now, undoubtedly I'd have simply waited for a PS3 -- there's still no way in hell I'd have paid $599, even if the damn Xbox ended up costing a considerable amount higher due to Microsoft's nickel-and-diming.

In the future, I'll maintain greater respect for my Tokyo overlords.